“Lady Courtney,” Sophia said softly as Courtney stared forlornly out of her bedchamber window. “Which one?”

Courtney returned her attention to her lady’s maid. She had been so lost in dreary thought about her younger sister, Olivia’s, coming out that very evening that she had forgotten that her maid was even there. The red-haired woman was holding up two dresses. One was pale purple and billowy. The other was a darker green that would sit a little wider across her petticoat and, with luck, conceal some of the broadness of her hips.

“The green one,” she said.

Sophia gave her a nod and quickly put back the purple dress. Without another word, she spread out the green dress on the back of a nearby chair and began helping Courtney undress.

In all the time that Sophia had been Courtney’s lady’s maid, she had never grimaced at her mistress’s excess weight or made any unwarranted remarks. Yet she never engaged as much in conversation with Courtney as her sister’s lady’s maids did with them. Courtney didn’t know if the maid judged her as other people did. But she was always glad for the reprieve she got while Sophia helped her, even if she did wish the maid wouldn’t remain so regularly quiet.

When Sophia was finished, she stepped aside. She didn’t meet Courtney’s eyes as she waited for her mistress to look at herself in the mirror. Courtney didn’t bother. She knew that, even with the dress she had chosen, her figure was surely just as pronounced as it always was. Sophia had, as always, pulled her corset as tight as she could. But Courtney knew that trick only worked for thinner women.

Silently, Courtney followed Sophia out of her bedchambers and into the hallway of Greywood Manor. She heard her mother and Olivia before she spotted them standing just in front of Olivia’s bedchamber door.

“Oh, darling,” the Countess of Greywood was gushing. “You look like an angel.”

Courtney’s stomach churned. She had said something similar to Viola on the night of her coming out ball. But Courtney had not been afforded such kind words. In fact, the Countess had appeared ill during the first part of the evening and had pleaded a megrim and retired from the ball early. The only mention that had been made about her debut ball afterward was how disheartening it was that Courtney would likely remain a spinster.

Her relationship with her mother was strained, to be sure, but with  her younger sister was all but nonexistent. Olivia and Viola had been very close, and the pair were inseparable from their mother. Courtney, however, was never included in anything the other three did. She always pretended that it didn’t bother her when her mother and sisters ignored her. But deep down, it broke her heart every time.

Courtney reluctantly approached her mother and younger sister, giving them a timid smile.

“You look beautiful, Olivia,” she said. Even though her sister was more often cruel to her than not, she still felt it proper to pay her a compliment. Perhaps, it would at least appease her mother and sister.

the Countess didn’t even look at her middle daughter as she spoke, instead fussing over some nonexistent wrinkles in Olivia’s white satin dress. Olivia, however, sneered smugly at her older sister.

“Of course, I look beautiful,” she said with cold disdain. “I am the diamond of the season.”

Courtney flinched at her sister’s words, but she didn’t say anything more. Instead, she stood back, waiting for her mother and Olivia to be ready. When at last the Countess finished fiddling with her youngest daughter’s dress, the other two women headed for the staircase, nearly knocking down Courtney in the process. She waited for her mother and sister to get a few steps ahead of her, then followed them downstairs.

the Earl was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, gazing up at them fondly. No, Courtney admonished herself. Gazing at them fondly. Her father was no more willing to look at her than her mother had been. She supposed that she couldn’t blame them. She was hideous and Olivia was beautiful. And it was her special night, not Courtney’s. 

Still, as her younger sister took their father’s arm, she couldn’t help feeling another pang of envy. Why couldn’t her parents try to be proud of her for something? Courtney had a few skills that were not wholly displeasing. When she was a girl, her parents had at least enjoyed listening to her play the pianoforte. Were those days forever forgotten?

Unheard and unseen, Courtney followed her family to greet all the ball guests waiting in the receiving line. She put on her usual plastic smile, but she didn’t bother saying anything to anyone. Few people paid her any mind, and the few who differed only did so with expressions of disdain and jest. She resigned herself to simply staring straight ahead, not looking at anyone at all as they passed her. Even the ones who made a point of snickering at her.

When at last all the waiting guests had gone into the ballroom, Courtney dutifully followed her family through the room, hiding behind her parents as they formally welcomed everyone to the ball. Then, she stepped further back, pressing herself against the wall as Olivia and her father opened up the dance floor.

While the Earl and his youngest daughter danced, Courtney slipped away to her familiar corner. Everyone was busy watching the Earl and his youngest daughter dance then, so she was able to do so without being seen. Or, at least, so she thought.

As she stood wearing her public smile and pretending to watch the dance floor while she drifted in her thoughts, two young ladies approached where she was standing. Assuming she was as invisible to them as she was to everyone else, she kept staring straight ahead, only glancing at them in her periphery. But when she saw who it was, her heart fell into her stomach.

Martha Rich and Penelope Hanson, Olivia’s best friends, were whispering amongst themselves. She hoped they would just walk past instead of stopping to mock her. They did neither, however. Rather, they stopped just within earshot and, despite angling themselves so she could see their faces, they pretended not to see her.

“Heavens,” Martha said, flippantly tossing a red lock of hair away from her face. “That poor girls’ corset looks rather tight. On any other lady, it would simply look as though she got the wrong size.”

Penelope nodded, her blond curls bouncing as she did so.

“It is quite obvious that she has put on more pounds since last season,” she said. She held up her fan in front of her face, but she continued speaking loudly enough for Courtney to hear her. Courtney did not look in their direction, but her plastic smile wilted a little.

Perhaps, they are not talking about me, she thought, trying to convince herself that the words were true. I must not assume that they are referring to me. They are, after all, close enough for me to hear them.

But even as she offered herself the weak solace, she knew she was lying to herself. Martha and Penelope had never been nice to her. Though they usually treated her as though she didn’t exist, the things they did say to her were cruel and biting. Still, she tried to believe that just maybe, they had chosen another young woman about whom to gossip that evening.

Both women giggled and fanned themselves.

“One thing is for certain,” Martha said, dabbing at her eyes dramatically. “No gentleman in all of London would ever want to be with a woman as plump as Courtney.”

As Penelope punctuated her friend’s malicious words with high-pitched laughter, Courtney swallowed. Of course, they had been talking about her all along. Now, she was as embarrassed by her foolish hope that they weren’t as she was about the awful things they were saying.

“You’re right,” Penelope agreed. “I would pity her, if she didn’t look so utterly ridiculous.”

Courtney felt her face burn crimson and she bit back tears. She couldn’t ignore the hateful women, but she did her best to pretend that she was. Their giggling was like metal on a blackboard to her nerves, and it was all she could do to not flee from the ballroom and hide in her bedchambers.

When two gentlemen approached the cruel women, Courtney held her breath. She was terrified that they were friends of Martha’s and Penelope’s coming to assist the women in teasing Courtney. But instead, the men asked the two women to dance. As the men whisked them to the dance floor, Courtney breathed a sigh of relief. 

The things she heard the women saying still stung her, but she was free from having to listen to any more of their insults. Still, she slipped further back, doing her best to blend in with the shadows of the ballroom. If the two horrible women wanted to torment her again, she intended to make it as difficult as possible.

To her delight, the men requested dances from both the young women, not paying a bit of attention to her. They giggled flirtatiously as the gentlemen led them away from Courtney’s space and toward the dance floor. She held her breath, not daring to release her sigh of relief until the women were well out of earshot. Then she sagged, slipping over to the refreshment tables and fetching two glasses of wine. She wouldn’t be seen drinking from both from her little corner. And even if she was, she wouldn’t care.

                                                                                           ***

The following morning, Courtney joined her family in the drawing room for breakfast. She heard the commotion drifting down the hall before she saw her parents and younger sister. When she stepped inside the room, Olivia was bouncing in her chair and holding something paper that she was shaking frantically.

“Mother, Father, look,” she said, her voice rising with each syllable. “You will never believe this.”

the Earl took the paper, which Courtney could now see was a copy of the London Times, gently from his daughter’s hands. the Countess moved closer to her husband, who smoothed out the paper before him and began to read silently to himself. the Countess did the same as Courtney slipped unseen into the room and took a seat closer to the window than to the rest of her family. A moment later, her mother gasped, covering her mouth with her hands.

“Oh, my heavens,” she said, her voice rising to match her youngest daughter’s pitch. “Olivia’s debut has been deemed a grand success.”

Olivia nodded eagerly, not waiting for her parents to finish reading that portion of the scandal sheets.

“But better still,” she said, pausing to draw in another big breath. “The ton has awarded me the title of diamond of the Season.” She barely finished the final word of her sentence before she began squealing again. the Countess abandoned her seat beside her husband and leapt toward her youngest daughter. The two women shrieked with joy, hugging and giggling like school children.

“Oh, my dear,” the Earl said, joining his wife and youngest daughter where they stood, still giving high pitched squeals. “There is none in the ton more deserving than you.”

“We are so very proud of you, sweetheart,” the Countess gushed.

Courtney cleared her throat and looked shyly over at her family.

“Congratulations, Sister,” she said.

No one paid her any heed, however, and the rest of her family continued raving over Olivia. Once again, Courtney was left out of an important thing in her family. She didn’t bother repeating herself or approaching the rest of her family. She merely sighed, resting her head against the wall and looking out the window. At that moment, she wished she could escape the Season to go live in the countryside. After all, why would her family want her getting under their feet now?