Sighing out loud, Stephen rubbed one hand over his forehead as he picked up yet another piece of business. He had been working in his study for most of the day and, thus far, he had barely touched the pile of letters and other things which had arrived for him. Then again, he considered, he had nothing else to do but this and therefore, could not protest about the amount he had to do. It aided him, helping him to keep his mind from all other thoughts which might overcome him with emotion. 

“Brother?”

Scowling, Stephen looked up from his desk as the door opened. “Caroline, why must you insist upon interrupting me?”

“I do not mean to trouble you.” Caroline came a little further into the room, spreading out her hands. “But you did say that we would be going to London for the Season and thus far I have heard no conversation as regards when we are going to be making our way to London.”

The scowl on Stephen’s face grew darker. “My dear Caroline, I have no intention of going to London this season.”

Caroline’s eyes widened, the color fading from her face. “But when I asked you last summer, you told me that we would be going to London this Season. We have taken more than the required mourning period for our Uncle and I have been pinning all of my hopes upon making our way to society.”

“What hopes would those be?” He watched as Caroline blinked furiously, not understanding the reason for her tears. “You can be assured, my dear sister, that I have every intention of making certain you have an excellent match.” Less than a year after he had returned to his estate, news had arrived of their late Uncle’s passing away. Much to Stephen’s surprise, he had been informed that he was now the Duke of Lancaster, given that the Uncle’s only son had also passed away some years ago – a fact that Stephen had been entirely unaware of. Within a month, he had removed to the Lancaster estate, along with Caroline, and fully anticipated remaining in it for many years to come. 

Evidently, Caroline had expected differently.

“That is not fair of you, brother. What if I should like to make my own match?” his sister asked, her eyes a little glassy. “What if I should like to go to society, what if I should like to meet the various gentlemen and ladies that are present in the hope of securing a suitable match for myself?”

Stephen shook his head, finding himself a little exasperated. “There is no need for you to worry about finding a match for yourself, Caroline. There is a difference between being the sister of an Earl and the sister of a Duke, Caroline. Since you are now the sister of a Duke, that means that every gentleman in London will be pursuing you, but not for the right reasons. That is not something that you are at all prepared for… but thankfully, I am.” Lifting his chin, he looked back at her steadily. “You cannot trust the gentlemen of London. You are my sister, and therefore I will deal with such responsibilities. My intention is to find you a husband within the year. You will still be wed and happy and therefore, in knowing this, you can have no concern about going to London.”

To his irritation, Caroline shook her head, tears splashing down onto her cheeks. “Why must you imprison me like this?”

“Imprison you?” Stephen threw up his hands, anger beginning to billow through him so swiftly he had to catch his breath. “I am not imprisoning you! I am doing my best to look after you just as I ought. I am taking my responsibility seriously, which cannot be said of every gentleman in England! You ought to be grateful, Caroline, instead of ushering such complaints into my presence.”

His sister did not break down into tears as he had expected, nor did she turn and storm out of the room. Instead, she simply looked back at him, her tears still drying on her cheeks as she folded her arms, her chin lifting a notch. “Ever since you had your heart broken on your wedding day, you have changed completely. You are not the brother you once were.”

Stephen’s anger began to build into a fury, and he thumped the desk with his fist, making his sister start in fright. “Do not dare speak to me of that day!”

“I shall, for it must be spoken of!” Caroline, rather than listening to him, rather than fading back into the distance as he had hoped, continued to speak about the most painful experience of Stephen’s life. “You waited for her there at the church. You received that note from Lady Violet, and since that time, you have become the most dark and dreadful gentleman in all of England. You do not stray from this house, barely even leaving your study. I spend most of my days alone and without company. I eat dinner in the presence of the servants rather than with the company of my brother. You do not permit me to have visitors. I am not even allowed to have my friends come to reside with us for a time! In the last three years I have found myself becoming more than a little desperate, afraid that you will never again return to the kind-hearted, joyous gentleman I once knew and now to hear that you will not even take me to London – even though you stated that you would do so – only confirms to me that you are nothing short of a beast.”

“A beast am I?” Placing both hands on his desk, Stephan pushed himself up and narrowed his eyes at his sister. “You are ungrateful, Caroline. You are selfish and inconsiderate. You do not see all that I have been doing for you. You do not see that I have been thinking and planning your future and instead of showing any sort of gratitude, all you do is complain.”

“Inconsiderate? You would dare to level that at me?” Caroline’s voice grew to a fever pitch. “You have made all of these plans without even speaking to me of them! You have determined this and thought about that, but never once have you come to me! Never once have you asked me about my opinion on such things. You have decided that you shall do just as you please, and thereafter I will have nothing else to do but accept your judgments and your decisions without question. Why do you treat me in such a way? Why am I merely some responsibility you must find a solution for? Why do you not even think about my feelings?”

There was no reasoning with her, Stephen decided. She was speaking far too quickly and with too much emotion for him to even consider what she was saying. To his mind, it would be best if he left things as they were. She might think he was a beast but to his own mind, he was certain that what he was doing was right. Besides which, he had certainly no intention of making his way to London. Yes, he admitted silently, he had once said to her sister that they would go but that had only been in order to placate her, in order to silence any questions about society and when she would be making her come out. But the truth was, the gentlemen of London could not be trusted and he would not permit Caroline to even become acquainted with a single one of them.

“I think it is time for you to take your leave, Caroline.” Seeing her eyes widen, Stephen shrugged and then gestured to the door. “I have business matters to attend to. If you wish, we can discuss this at another time.” 

A hard, brittle laugh came from Caroline. “And what would be the purpose of that, brother?” She shook her head and turned away. “You are not the sort of gentleman who can be reasoned with. You are not the sort of gentleman who cares one iota for what others think or feel.” Throwing him a glance over her shoulder, she shook her head. “When I tell you that you have changed, you do not believe it. However, I can tell you that the brother I see before me is not the brother I once knew. That brother was considerate, caring and kind. The man you are now is only concerned with doing just as he pleases, only concerned with keeping himself as far away from London as possible, for fear that what he will find there will only injure him still further.”

At her words, Stephen’s fury died away in a moment. The truth hit him right between the eyes, and though he wanted to dismiss it, though he wanted to tell her that she had not said a single word of truth, he could not. Yes, he was avoiding society. Yes, he was hiding from all of society, for he did not want to set foot in London for fear that he would hear the name of Lady Violet spoken, or worse, that he would find himself in her company once more. In the three years which had passed since his wedding day, he had never once written to Lady Violet. To go to London would be to ruin all of the security he had built around his heart. He had grown to value his solitude. He appreciated the long, dark evenings and the nights which seemed to never end. It was the best place for his melancholy, for his heaviness of heart, for the sorrow which would never fully leave him. Over and over, he thought of her. He thought of how much he had loved her and how quickly she had broken that apart. And then, after hours of consideration and pain, there would come bitterness. Then he would remind himself of how little he required Lady Violet’s presence and how little he desired to see her again. Repeatedly telling himself those things hid the truth from his heart, to the point that he almost now fully believed it.

Clearing his throat, Stephen picked up his quill to return to his business. “I will see you at dinner. Good afternoon, Caroline.”

A small, sad laugh came from his sister as she closed the door behind her. It was clear that she knew, just as he did, that though he said such a thing, he would not join her for dinner. It was not his way. He preferred to sit alone in solitude, for it was the greatest comfort he could offer his soul. Joy and laughter were far from him now. He could not even remember the last time he had smiled with a genuine happiness in his heart. But he did not want it. Not now. Lady Violet had stolen that from him, and Stephen was fully convinced he could never feel truly happy again.

All the same, even as he continued with his business, the sad eyes and the downcast expression of his sister would not leave him. There was a little guilt there, he realized. Guilt that he did not need to feel for he was already doing what he could for his sister, was he not? He was going to find her a suitable match. He was going to make sure that she was more than contented with whichever husband he picked out for her.

But I did say that I would take her to London.

His conscience pricked him, but Stephen shook his head. No, he could not bring himself to go back there. The rumors and whispers might have died down – though he had never heard any of them since he had remained in his estate – but certainly, if he came to stand in the midst of London, the whispers would begin in earnest, he was sure. There might be questions. There might be reminders of that day, and Stephen did not feel as though his heart could cope with such things. It would be a reminder of the pain he had endured ever since the day she had broken his heart. He would see her in the shadows and the whispers of the past as he made his way through London, through the places where he had walked with her, danced with her, smiled at her. No, he could not bring himself to do it.

There would be no return to London.

***

“Why is my sister not present for dinner?” Lifting an eyebrow in the direction of the footman, Stephen watched as the man glanced to another, as though somehow one of them would find an answer.

“It cannot be that difficult to discover why my sister is not present” he stated, a little frustrated. It had been a month since their last conversation about London, and during that month Caroline had spent as little time as she could in his company. Stephen had told himself that in time she would realize he was not about to be moved, that she would accept the decision and mayhap, in the end, be glad of it. On the rare occasion they had sat together for dinner, the tension had been as ice and the conversation so stilted he had barely been able to speak more than a few sentences. All the same, Stephen now found himself a little frustrated that though he had made the effort to appear here for dinner this evening, Caroline has chosen not to do so. Whether she was doing it to be petty, he did not know, though there was a slight trifling concern that she might also be a little unwell and he did not know of it.

“Might I suggest that one of you go to find my sister?” Stephen dismissed the footman with a wave of his hand and then picked up his spoon. He was not about to wait for Caroline, for his soup was getting cold and he had already demanded that it be served before she arrived. If she wished to be childish, then he would not play along. 

Silence filled the room, but Stephen did not even notice it, nor did he mind it. This was a place for his own thoughts and, if Caroline did not join him, a place for his own company. If Caroline did not wish to dine with him, then he would not suffer a great deal. 

Stephen had finished the soup by the time the footman returned. The footman did not arrive alone, however, and Stephen frowned as the butler came into the room, his hands rubbing together in a clear sign of nervousness.

“Wilson.” Stephen gestured to him. “I am in search of my sister. Is she unwell or is there another reason that she has not joined me for dinner?”

The butler continued to rub his hands, inclining his head as he looked to his footmen and then back to Stephen. “Your Grace, I believe that your sister, Lady Caroline, asked to take the carriage out this afternoon. Thus far she has not returned.”

A streak of fear ran through Stephen. “Do you mean to say that nobody in this house knows as to where my sister was going? 

The butler quickly shook his head. “That is not what I meant.” There was a slight pause and then the butler cleared his throat. “Your Grace, I thought that you were aware that Lord Hampton and your sister were out for a drive together this afternoon.”

“Lord Hampton?” Stephen blinked furiously, the fear in his heart now turning to surprise. “What was Lord Hampton doing here? This is miles from his own estate!” 

The butler simply blinked back at him and Stephen closed his eyes. Of course the butler would not know why Lord Hampton was in the vicinity. It had been years since Stephen had been in his friend’s company and given that he had ignored all of Lord Hampton’s letters, Stephen could not expect to know such a reason for his visit. Clearly, however, Lord Hampton and Caroline had been writing to each other and that was something which concerned Stephen a great deal. Why would his friend be writing to Caroline? And why had Caroline agreed to a carriage ride with this gentleman without Stephen’s knowledge?

It is not as though you encouraged her to come and speak with you, said a small voice in his heart, a voice which Stephen quickly ignored.

“Does anyone know as to where my sister has gone with this gentleman?” Stephen looked from the footman to the butler and back again, but both of them shook their heads. “Then I will finish my dinner.” Stephen snapped his fingers and the footman, a little startled, turned quickly to fetch the next course. Attempting to set the matter aside, Stephen ate quickly, though told himself that he had no need to be concerned. Lord Hampton was a good sort and he had no need to worry as regarded Caroline’s reputation. All the same, he found himself a little concerned as to why Caroline was still absent from the house so many hours later. Even though it was approaching the summertime, the nights were still a little dark. Surely Lord Hampton would return her to him before the night drew on even more!

“Your Grace?”

As Stephen finished his final course, the butler reappeared, though this time with a note held on a tray in his hand. Without a word, Stephen took it and broke the seal, opening it to find only a few words written there.

‘Brother, you promised to take me to London, but you have reneged on that promise. Therefore, since I was unwilling to spend the next few years alone and without any sort of happiness, I have begged the only person I can think of for a little help. Lord Hampton has ensured that your London townhouse is prepared for me. I will reside there for the Season. In addition, Lord Hampton has secured me a chaperone, so there is no requirement for you to make your way to London. Understand that I had no desire to take such measures but given the prospect of remaining at the estate alone, sorrowful and lonely or going to London without your knowledge, I could not help but pursue the latter. I have not enjoyed being in your company for many years. I have found you so altered it has been painful to see. Therefore, I shall stay in London in the hopes of finding a suitable match. Whether I will be fortunate enough to do so, I do not know. If I am entirely unsuccessful then I will return to you at the end of the season. Let us both hope that I am successful so that I will no longer have to stray into your solitude. Yours, Caroline.’

Stephen could not breathe. He stared at the letter, then dropped it onto the table besides him before letting out a long, loud groan. Dropping his head forward, he put his elbows to the table and threw his hands through his hair. 

He did not know what it was that he felt but there was certainly something akin to anger there. Anger towards not only his sister but also to Lord Hampton for doing such a thing to him. How could he be so foolish as to agree to whatever it was that Caroline had asked him for? Caroline required a chaperone and Lord Hampton certainly could not act as one! 

I have not enjoyed being in your company for many years.

That part of the letter strayed into Stephen’s mind all over again and he let out a slow breath, finding himself struggling with such harsh criticism. A criticism that, deep down, he knew to be fair. 

I cannot go to London.

Lifting his head, he waved one hand and dismissed the servants without so much as a word. The door closed behind the last footman and Stephen quickly rose to his feet, picking up the wine glass from the table as he strode across the room to look out across his estate grounds. 

The sun had already set and the last few fingers of light were already spreading out across the sky. They would soon fade, leaving nothing but a dark night behind it. 

And this would be the first night in three years that Caroline would not be present in the house with him. 

Stephen closed his eyes and lifting the wine glass to his lips, took a long draft. The warmth did not bring him any pleasure. Rather, it made him shudder, fear for his sister coursing through him. She was present in London, staying at his townhouse without a chaperone and without his presence. Yes, she had said that a chaperone would be provided but Stephen had no knowledge as to who this person would be! He had not had opportunity to speak into that, to say yes or no as regarded whether or not they would be a suitable chaperone for Caroline! Anger streaked up his spine again as he thought about what not only Caroline but also Lord Hampton had done. This was an assault on his status, on his standing and on his authority. Neither of them had any right to do as they had done. 

Lifting his chin, Stephen set his jaw. This emotion was the one he would cling to, the one he would let fill him. Anger would be what would drive him rather than understanding, consideration or even fear.

“I will not go to London.” Speaking aloud, Stephen made his firm determination only to feel that wither away inside. Yes, he could write to his sister and to Lord Hampton and find out who this chaperone was and to also berate them both for what they had done in the hope that guilt would return Caroline to the estate, but would he truly be contented in permitting the entirety of the Season to pass without his presence? If his fears about the gentlemen of London and Caroline’s presence within society were real, then could he truly stay at his estate and be contented with that?

“I will NOT go to London!” Stephen cried again, his voice echoing around the room as his heart began to pound furiously. He had always said he would not return there, would not bring himself back to the place which had caused him so much pain and that determination remained. He had to pray that firm, insistent and persistent letters would be enough to have Caroline sent back to him. 

And if they are not? 

Stephen shook his head, refusing to let that thought take hold of him. Caroline would come back to his estate, he was sure of it – and if she did not, then Stephen would do whatever he could to force her return, albeit without the requirement for him to make his way to London. He could not go back to where his memories of Lady Violet would return to him with force and injure him all over again. It was absolutely out of the question.